My father was a gunner in the merchant marines and there is a story of him getting drunk and missing a boat that was sunk by the Germans. Such stories were meant to describe the randomness of fate and fragility of good timing. They would always end with my father saying, “And if that hadn’t happened I wouldn’t have met your mother and none of you would be sitting around the kitchen table enjoying red jelly topped with tinned fruit”. I would feel giddy, a sort of fizzy feeling of wonderment that in the end we had all won somehow. It was a ‘feel good’ story with unlikely heroes.
 


But within this tale was another narrative that my father did not tell at the family dinner table. It was related to a single listener in a hushed voice because the story bewildered him. The tale about being a drunken sailor would always get lots of laughs in a crowd but the other side of that event—missing the boat and surviving—contained something far more complicated. My father could not come to grips with why he’d been saved from a watery grave in this way when so many fine men had died.
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Did God reward bad behaviour? Or was it that in end my father had been sent to hell—the crippling guilt that he had been spared? The events were the same but different reasons for relating them changed the form of the story entirely.
 
The compulsion to tell a story at a particular time and for a particular reason is an essential ingredient of ‘voice’. Think about what compels you to tell a particular story at a particular time, and how it affects your voice.